


singapore, san francisco

by ofstormsandwolves



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e01 Zoey's Extraordinary Return, F/F, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofstormsandwolves/pseuds/ofstormsandwolves
Summary: It was, Joan realised as she boarded the plane, a silly fantasy. A childish dream. Of course Zoey wouldn’t come. Why should she?Or, after Joan leaves, she finds that she can't get a certain red-headed coder out of her mind. And maybe the red-headed coder feels the same way...Spoilers for the season 2 premiere
Relationships: Zoey Clarke/Joan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	singapore, san francisco

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally only seen the Zoey and Joan bedroom scene via Instagram. The episode hasn't even aired in my country yet. All my info is coming from gifsets, so don't expect it to be 100% accurate with regards to events...

“You can’t be afraid of change... I don’t have anything holding me here...”

Joan knew it wasn’t true, had known it for weeks. But, well, it sort of was true too. Honestly, the whole thing was a mess. There was one person- just one person- in the whole world who could get her to stay, to turn down the fantastic new promotion in Singapore. One person, who just had to ask her to stay. The only other person in the room.

But Zoey didn’t feel that way about her, Joan knew. She’d never asked, of course, but she just knew. Zoey was young, with her whole life ahead of her and at least two men vying for her attention if Tobin’s gossip was to be believed. What would she want with a fifty year old divorcee? And what would she want with her boss?

No. Joan didn’t need to ask to know that Zoey didn’t share her feelings.

God, she felt like a teenager though, sat on the edge of her crush’s bed in her childhood bedroom, hoping for a miracle, hoping for Zoey to stop her from leaving. Perhaps coming by was a mistake. Showing up on Mrs Clarke’s doorstep, awkwardly asking for Zoey like a high schooler asking if her friend could come to the mall with her, being led by a confused but polite Maggie up to Zoey’s room.

And of course Zoey had expected Max or Simon. The two men fighting over her. in fact, she’d even been surprised to see Joan there at all. Was she really so cold, so distant, that Zoey was surprised by her concern?

She’d really miss seeing Zoey every day though, and she told her so. Her eyes were damp, and so were Zoey’s, and Joan’s heart clenched. Did the other woman not realise she could stop it all with a simple request? That she could keep Joan from ever getting on that flight?

Zoey was bright. She’d figure it out, right?

* * *

Zoey didn’t figure it out.

Not that Joan was expecting some dramatic moment at the airport just as she was to board her flight, like a goddamn rom-com. But... Well, a part of her had been hoping for it.  


Back in her days before she’d been hardened by a career in Silicon Valley and her marriage to Charlie, Joan had been something of a romantic. Something people would laugh at if they were to hear it. Joan Bennett, a romantic? More chance of pigs flying. But it was true, and the romantic part of her had longed for a final frantic meeting between herself and Zoey, her with her boarding pass and passport in hand and Zoey wide-eyed and determined as she confessed her feelings.

It was, Joan realised as she boarded the plane, a silly fantasy. A childish dream. Of course Zoey wouldn’t come. Why should she?

Joan shook the thoughts from her head, forced a smile at the air hostess, and was escorted to her seat in first class. From there, she went through the motions, taking the complimentary items, gladly accepting a large glass of champagne, and waiting quietly for takeoff.

She’d really thought that they’d shared a moment, she and Zoey, sitting in Zoey’s childhood bedroom. She’d really thought that maybe, just maybe, Zoey would pull through. Maybe Zoey didn’t care. Maybe Joan had been too subtle. 

With a sigh, she turned off her phone, sat back in her seat, and closed her eyes. It would be a long flight. She should get some sleep.

* * *

Zoey Clarke wasn’t exactly sure how she was feeling. Joan had left early that morning, she knew, and she felt like she should have done something. Gone to the airport to see her off, or meet her for a final goodbye meal before she’d left...

But ever since the talk in Zoey’s old bedroom, she’d felt a little odd. She hadn’t wanted Joan to leave, had hated the fact she was leaving actually. But there hadn’t been anything she could do about it. She couldn’t demand she stayed, couldn’t demand Joan turn down an amazing opportunity and change her entire life plan just because Zoey couldn’t bear for her to move to another country.

Besides, there’d be questions. Questions Zoey couldn’t answer. About why Joan couldn’t leave, and why Zoey’s heart ached whenever she thought of her old boss, and why she hadn’t been able to stomach waving her off at the airport.

She was a terrible friend. A terrible friend who was quite possibly in love.

Only, she refused to say the ‘l’ word, even to herself. Things were messy enough, with Max, and Simon. She’d kissed both of them, but was pining instead for a woman who probably didn’t even like her that way. Her romantic life had never been particularly great, but now it was disastrous.

Maybe it was good that Joan had left. Maybe she’d escaped before Zoey could ruin everything between them. Things were sort of strained between herself and Simon now, and Max was looking at her like a puppy who wanted to follow her around all day and she had no idea how to make him stop. What do you say after you make out with your best friend but realise you’re in love with your boss? Zoey had never been good at tough, emotional conversations. She was a coder, after all. 

Why couldn’t there be a code for love? It would make everything so much easier...

* * *

Singapore was... Singapore. The job was demanding, there was a whole new language and translators to contend with, some of whom frustratingly couldn’t keep up with Joan’s pace, and while the opportunity was great her heart really wasn’t in it.

No. Her heart was still back in San Francisco.

Joan tried her best to ignore that fact, pushing it aside and instead throwing herself into work. She fell into old habits, becoming snappy and cold towards her employees, just as she had whenever she and Charlie hit a rough patch. 

But she and Zoey weren’t she and Charlie. For a start, they weren’t and never had been a couple. And no matter how much Joan had hoped that would change, it didn’t look like it would ever happen.

She instead took solace in her dogs, who had been shipped out to Singapore with her, and in her work where she stayed at the office late into the night most days. She vaguely recalled once berating Zoey for doing the same thing, and she knew that made her a hypocrite. But who was going to call her out on it? There was nobody around who would talk to her the way Zoey would, she had no friends at her new job, and her new subordinates were scared of her. She was the crazy American lady who’d been shipped in and hit the ground running with demands and ideas. She hadn’t wasted time on any of that ‘getting to know the team’ stuff- she’d either pick up their names or she wouldn’t, it had taken her years to learn all of the names of her old fourth floor team.

Not, of course, that she was thinking about them at all. And not, of course, that she was thinking of a particular team member with red hair and a bright smile and a tendency to use strange greetings. No. Not at all.

* * *

By six months into the job however, Joan could no longer lie to herself. She hadn’t settled in, and she didn’t want to. Logically she knew she couldn’t go back to her old job, either. It was Zoey’s now, and there was no way she was taking it away from the young woman.

But maybe she didn’t need to take it back. She had enough money to buy a new house in San Francisco, ship the dogs home, and live comfortably for a good while. She could quit her job, fly home as soon as possible. Or she could make some calls, pull some strings, see what other jobs SPRQ Point had going back home. Perhaps another leadership position had opened up, or maybe she could try shipping Ava out to Singapore and take over the sixth floor in her place. Or maybe it was time to leave SPRQ Point and go elsewhere, or work as some sort of consultant.

In all seriousness, she had no plan. And that was very unlike her. Joan Bennett had always had a plan, she had always intended to take Silicon Valley by storm. And, she supposed, she had. She’d launched the SPRQ Watch, she’d helped devise the Chirp, she’d taken over Danny Michael Davis’s job for a while, and had been shipped out to head up the Singapore office. She’d more than taken Silicon Valley by storm. 

But she found she didn’t care. 

None of it mattered without the woman she loved. The woman she’d been too scared to confess her feelings to. The woman who would occasionally send her messages ‘checking in’ on her, as though Joan were an obligation or an elderly relative who was a fall risk and needed to be kept an eye on. She never had the stomach to send more than brief responses to the chirpy messages about how she was liking her new job. Because that’s all Zoey ever asked about. How was work, how was Singapore, how was her new team. Generic and friendly, and enough to make Joan feel like a complete idiot for even daring to hope her feelings were reciprocated.

Why would Zoey send such generic messages if she felt the same way? And even if she had felt that way before, did she feel the same now? What if she had found someone? What if she was with Max, or Simon? Or someone entirely new? She was young, attractive, bright, funny... And still, even months later, Joan couldn’t think of one good reason why Zoey would want her.

Would she look desperate if she came back from Singapore, tail between her legs, begging Zoey to give her a chance?

But then she remembered that conversation with Zoey, about how they shouldn’t be afraid of change. _She’d_ told Zoey that. And she’d meant it. So how could she be so scared of taking the plunge and admitting her feelings? What bigger change was there?

...Which was exactly the heart of the matter. If she went back and confessed her feelings to Zoey, who then laughed in her face, what was she meant to do? She was willing to throw away this new job, this new life, all for a woman who might not even feel the same way. She was willing to return to San Francisco, with its ghosts and its prying media, and with Charlie and his young new supermodel girlfriend. Charlie, who’d laugh at her if he knew what she was considering.

It was stupid, it was reckless, it was impulsive and a little insane...

And Joan had to do it.

* * *

In the six months since Joan had left, Zoey had been sort of at a loss for what to do. She’d thrown herself into work, staying late at the office most nights. Tobin had even nicknamed her ‘Joan Junior’, and while he and Leif had been laughing about it, there’d been a tinge of fear in their voices. 

Perhaps she was starting to emulate Joan. After all, she occupied Zoey’s dreams most nights, and her thoughts more frequently than she’d ever admit. And even months on from the promotion, she thought of the office not as hers but as Joan’s. it was like it was on loan to her, like she was keeping the seat warm until the other woman returned.  


She wasn’t, though. Returning. She had a great new life in Singapore. Or, so Zoey assumed. She hadn’t heard much from the other woman at all. She’d reached out a few times on social media, asking how Joan was settling in, how she was liking Singapore and the new job, but had received short one-word responses in return.

Zoey refused to dwell on it, though. Joan obviously didn’t feel the same way, and she wasn’t about to spend hours of her time chasing down a woman who clearly didn’t want to talk to her. She had a job to do, and family and friends to spend time with, and a life of her own to be getting on with. She wasn’t going to dwell on might-have-beens and missed opportunities any longer.

* * *

Getting a flight back had been surprisingly easy, and she’d been assured that her now-vacant position would be filled within the month. Of course, Joan had nothing to go back to, with no job or house. But she had money, and she would find something. 

In fact, within hours of arriving back on American soil she was being ushered inside a lavish new-build house to take a look around. It was grand, but not quite as large as the one she and Charlie had shared. She was on her own, after all, and she and two dogs didn’t need a six-bedroom house. Four bedrooms and a large garden would perfectly suffice.  


She put in an offer within half an hour, and it was accepted within the hour. Joan supposed she should probably be feeling excitement about the deal, or concern about how fast she made the decision, but all she could think about was Zoey. She’d slept on the flight home, and had a few hours before night time, and her mind couldn’t help drift towards the prospect of swinging by SPRQ Point.

She probably shouldn’t, the logical part of her brain reminded her. Zoey might not even want to see her, and did she really want to be humiliated in front of her old subordinates? Or what if Zoey thought Joan was there to take her job back? She should probably just go shopping; order some furniture for her new house, a home without the ghosts of her failed marriage, without Charlie’s absence screaming at her whenever she stepped inside. 

But her heart was calling out to Zoey. And, for once, her brain wasn’t going to win the fight.

* * *

Being back in San Francisco after so much time away was a little odd, if only in the fact it really hadn’t changed. The SPRQ Point building was the same as ever, except of course for the fact Joan had to sign in at the front desk. She got some odd looks from the receptionists, who knew better than to say anything, and she instead accepted her visitor badge without a word and swept off towards the elevators.

The fourth floor, just like the lobby, was relatively unchanged. She could hear Tobin yammering on about something, could hear Leif’s laughter. Oddly, Joan felt nervous as she made her way towards the desks. How would everyone react? More importantly, how would Zoey react?

“Tobin!”

The harsh bark of the voice made even Joan jump, and she was surprised to see Zoey’s petite form rush out of her office. She was dressed in dark, tight-fitting jeans, heeled boots, and a bright, light blue blazer the colour of a cloudless sky. Her red hair fell in loose curls around her shoulders.

Tobin’s grin had fallen at Zoey’s frustration, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I asked you for that code over an hour ago!” Zoey continued, sounding frustrated. “We can’t move on with the next phase of the project until you turn in your code!”

“I’m nearly done,” Tobin insisted. “Just got a few little tweaks.”

Even from where she was standing some distance away, Joan saw the tension in Zoey’s shoulders, as she folded her arms across her chest. 

“How many?”

Tobin blinked. “What?”

“How many tweaks?”

“Zoey, I’ve got this,” Leif interrupted then, evidently trying to diffuse the situation. He turned away from his desk to face Zoey better, and it was then that his eyes alighted on Joan.

She swallowed. For all the world she felt like she was a kid who’d been caught sneaking in after curfew.

“Oh, you’ve _got this_ , have you?” Zoey said then, apparently not having realised she’d lost Leif’s attention. She still sounded frustrated. “Well, that’s great Leif, but nothing can happen without that code! The _entire floor_ is waiting on Tobin’s part of the...” She trailed off then, and followed Leif’s gaze, a frown on her face.

As her eyes locked with Joan’s, Joan tried for a weak smile.

“Uh. Hi?”

* * *

Zoey couldn’t believe it. She really couldn’t believe it. Joan was in Singapore. So why was she stood over at the edge of the workspace? And why did she look so awkward?

“Hey, it’s Joan!” Tobin waved at their former boss, apparently having completely forgotten he was in trouble.

“Joan,” Leif said then, shifting awkwardly. “I didn’t realise you were coming back.”

“Oh,” Joan shrugged awkwardly at that, moving forward, “well, you know how it is. Plans change.”

Her eyes darted to Zoey then, who was still struggling to process what was going on. Did this mean Joan wanted her job back? She swallowed, then licked her lips, her mouth suddenly very dry.

“W-Why are you here?”

It came out a lot harsher than Zoey meant, and she could have sworn there was a flicker of hurt in Joan’s eyes.

“I wanted to drop in,” Joan said unconvincingly, “say ‘hi’.”

Arms still folded across her chest, Zoey surveyed the older woman. Months. She’d spent months wishing she’d come back, or that she’d never left at all. And then just when she’d decided to let go, to move on with her life and stop pining for Joan, she walks through the door. It had to be some sort of sick joke.

“And actually,” Joan was speaking again, “I, ah, wanted to have a talk with you.”

There was an uncertainty to her voice that made Zoey frown. She sounded nervous, and as a general rule Joan didn’t do nervousness. She pursed her lips.

“We’re busy. We’re working on a new project, and we’re falling behind schedule, and-”

“We can cope without you for an hour,” Leif interrupted then, eyeing Zoey and Joan with a look Zoey couldn’t decipher.

Tobin was nodding furiously. “Yeah! Why don’t you two go catch up, get mani-pedis, drink margaritas. Joan and Joan Junior, together again!”

“Joan Junior?” Joan echoed, sounding confused.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Zoey spoke up before Tobin could spill all about the reason behind her new nickname. The last thing she wanted was Joan thinking she was some adorable psychopath who had modelled herself after her.

“How about we grab a coffee?”

Joan blinked at that, looking a little surprised, but then a hesitant smile bloomed across her face. “Sounds good.”

* * *

The Golden Gate Grind was thankfully not very busy when the two women entered. Zoey had avoided it for months after the whole Autumn incident, but she’d finally braved it again a few weeks ago and she was glad she had.

“I’ll pay,” Joan said quickly as they joined the queue. “What will you have?”

Zoey gave her usual order a little uncertainly, her mind still trying to decipher just why Joan was suddenly back in San Francisco.

“Why don’t you grab a table?” Joan suggested then, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Uh, ok.” Zoey did as she was told, slinking over to a nearby table and sliding into the seat, eyes never leaving Joan.

This wasn’t fair. Just when she was moving on, just when she’d vowed to push her feelings aside... She must have been lost in thought, because suddenly Joan was in front of her with two coffees.

“So,” Zoey said as the older woman sat, “what brings you back here?”

“Oh, well,” Joan shrugged, looking uncomfortable just as she had at SPRQ Point. “Singapore wasn’t really working out.”

That hadn’t been what Zoey had expected. “Oh. I’m, uh, sorry to hear that.”

“It just wasn’t the right fit for me, I couldn’t settle. I thought it would do me some good, you know, to get away from it all, but...” Joan trailed off for a moment, surveying her coffee before hesitantly meeting Zoey’s eyes. “I realise now that I was running.”

“Running?” Zoey echoed.

“I was scared. A lot had happened the last few months. My divorce from Charlie, that god-awful thing with Leif, us...”

Zoey swallowed thickly at that. Was there an ‘us’? What did Joan mean? But before she could question it, faint music began to filter through the quiet coffee shop.

_“The loveliness of Paris,  
Seems somehow sadly gay  
The glory that was Rome,  
Is of another day.  
I’ve been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan  
And I'm coming home to my city by the bay.”_

Zoey stared. It had been months since she’d heard a heart song from Joan, hadn’t heard her sing since Mitch’s funeral. She’d almost forgotten what it sounded like, hearing Joan sing. The woman in question stood then, slipping round the table to stand behind Zoey’s chair, hands coming to rest on the younger woman’s shoulders.

_“I left my heart in San Francisco  
High on a hill, it calls to me  
To be where little cable cars  
Climb halfway to the stars!  
And the morning fog will chill the air.”_

Joan twirled then, back round the edge of the table to slip back into her seat. She reached across the table, grasping both of Zoey’s hands in hers as she continued to sing.

_“My love waits there in San Francisco  
Above the blue and windy sea  
When I come home to you, San Francisco,  
Your golden sun will shine for me!”_

All Zoey could do was blink. Was Joan singing what she thought she was singing? Had she...? Had she left Singapore for her?

_“I left my heart in San Francisco  
High on a hill, it calls to me  
To be where little cable cars  
Climb halfway to the stars!  
And the morning fog will chill the air  
I don’t care.  
My love waits there in San Francisco,  
Above the blue and windy sea  
When I come  
When I come home to you, San Francisco,  
Your golden sun will shine for me...”_

As the song came to a close, Zoey found herself suddenly bereft of Joan’s touch and the older woman sitting opposite her looking a little uncomfortable.

“You alright there?” Joan asked with a small frown.

“Y-Yeah,” Zoey managed to gasp out. “Uh, you were saying something?”

A small smile spread across Joan’s lips then. “You drifted off into Zoey-land, didn’t you? Well, it’s nice to see some things haven’t changed.”

“I guess,” Zoey shrugged, trying to steer the conversation back to what Joan had been saying before. She softened her voice when she spoke again. “Why were you scared, Joan?”

“Because.” Joan looked away for a moment, gathering her thoughts before looking back. “Because I feel like there’s something between us, Zoey. And it goes against everything I stand for professionally. I didn’t just make that up with Leif, I really _do_ have a thing against dating co-workers. Especially subordinates. It’s a HR nightmare. And, and it scared me. I’d just gotten divorced, you’d just lost your dad... The Singapore thing had been on the backburner for a while, and suddenly it was moving forward, and I had no idea where I stood with you, so... I took it. It was an excuse to get away.”

“From me?” Zoey couldn’t deny that stung a little.

“I didn’t want to go, you know,” Joan countered quietly. “I wanted you to stop me. That day I came to see you at your mom’s place. I said there was nothing here for me. I... That wasn’t exactly true. You were here, you are here. But... I didn’t know if you wanted me.” She let out a harsh, angry laugh then, looked away. “I _still_ don’t know if you want me.”

“I do want you.”

That made Joan’s head snap back round to meet Zoey’s gaze. “What?”

“I... I do want you.” Zoey licked her lips. Her mouth was dry. “Joan, these past six months... I’ve missed you so much. I wanted you here with me, but I didn’t know how to tell you, didn’t think I had the right to tell you. I mean, Singapore... That was a big opportunity. I couldn’t ask you to not go just because of me.” Her brow furrowed as a thought crossed her mind. “Did you quit just to come back here?”

Joan flushed a little at that. “Would it be pathetic if I said yes?”

Zoey gaped. “Joan!”

“Zoey, I meant it when I said it wasn’t working out. My heart wasn’t in it. I missed you. I... I want us to be together, if that’s what you want too-”

“It is.”

“-And being in Singapore... Well, it wasn’t going to happen if I stayed there. And if there’s one thing I learned during my marriage with Charlie, it’s that no amount of money can make you happy if your heart isn’t in it. It didn’t matter how great the job was, or the promotion. It didn’t matter that I’d been sought out for the role. I missed you so much it hurt.”

The younger woman swallowed at that. It was almost too good to be true. Would she suddenly wake up in her bed to find the whole thing had been a dream?

“Zoey?” Joan prompted then, laughing a little awkwardly. “Please say something. Even if it’s to tell me to go away.”

“I love you.” Well, it hadn’t been quite what she’d meant to blurt out. But after the surprise wore off, a small, slightly shy smile spread across Joan’s face, and Zoey’s racing heart slowed. “Joan, I, I... I really want there to be more between us. You showing up today, it was...” She took a breath. “I thought you were never going to come back, that I’d missed my chance to tell you how I felt. And you being here, it’s amazing. But, I don’t want to rush this. I mean, it’s great that we’re on the same page, and I really wish we’d not had to spend six months apart, but I want to do this right. I want to take things slow, to properly get to know one another, outside of work, and dead parents, and being women in Silicon Valley. I want to be with you so badly, but we have to make this work.”

Joan’s expression was unreadable for a moment, and Zoey’s heart leapt into her throat. But then, the brunette smirked, that special smirk she’d always reserved for the woman opposite her.

“I’ll agree to those terms on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

Joan’s blue eyes glinted in the warm sunlight filtering through the windows, something a little mischievous there. “I want to kiss you.”

A smirk of her own spread across Zoey’s lips. “Then why don’t you?”

* * *

Joan hadn’t expected Zoey to be quite so bold, or so open. Maybe the whole thing was a horrific joke at her expense. The sad fifty year old divorcee in love with her young, attractive subordinate. But Zoey’s smirk said otherwise, said that there was no joking involved. It was a little cheeky and teasing, but in a seductive way that made Joan’s mouth go dry. She wasn’t even entirely sure the younger woman knew she was doing it, and somehow that made it even more attractive.

She suddenly realised she didn’t quite know what to do. She hadn’t expected Zoey to be so receptive, so forward, and Joan hadn’t planned that far ahead. They were still seated, their drinks between them on the table, and there didn’t seem to be any graceful way to deal with the issue.

But she’d waited six months to be around Zoey again, and months before that harbouring growing feelings towards the woman opposite her. She wasn’t sure graceful was ever really an option. So instead, she grinned before promptly reaching forward and pulling Zoey to lean over the table. Their lips met over their drinks, the angle a little awkward and uncomfortable, but their mouths warm and inviting. Zoey’s lips were soft and pliant beneath her own, and her tongue was eagerly seeking entrance to Joan’s mouth. She allowed it.

And despite the awkward angle and the very public PDA and the fact she couldn’t actually wrap her arms around Zoey like she wanted, only a single thought went through Joan’s mind. She was home.


End file.
